I Wouldn't Mind A Personal Hell Like You
by Mackenzie Leigh Hauntelle
Summary: Is it possible to get more injuries in the hospital than in a battle field? A Nurse Mary Alice Brandon, with a rare case of adrenaline rush disorder, gets assigned to the poor wounded Lieutenant Jasper Whitlock.
1. I Wouldn't Mind A Personal Hell Like You

I WOULDN'T MIND A PERSONAL HELL LIKE YOU

(One-Shot)

Starring: Alice Brandon and Jasper Whitlock (because they're both human in this story)

Also Starring: Esme Cullen and Carlisle Cullen and Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (still human)

Author's Note : It's the first one-shot I made. R&R. Throw in the lemons!

{Alice}

"He's so beautiful," I breathed to my Aunt Esme.

"Well," she sniffed, "I really hope this won't be a distraction to you, Mary Alice."

"Oh no, Aunt!"

"Then sit by him. The medication will soon wear off and he'll start asking questions in about 5 minutes."

My feet were shaking as I went over the chair next to his bed. I don't think I'm fit enough for this job description! I get so terrified around cute guys.

I swung my feet back and forth and stared at the clock high up across. If Aunt Esme was right, Lieutenant Whitlock would wake up at exactly 3, 2, 1 ...

He moved, drew in a deep breath. And I hyperventilated the whole time. Whoah Alice. Steady, girl. You can do this.

He opened his eyes like a little baby. Completely adorable. He had a pair of eyes of the most unusual color. Golden topaz. The fluorescence made it look so deep and beautiful.

"W-where am I?" he asked slowly.

He tried to get up but in my haste, I pushed him back down causing his head to bump into the steel railings above his bed.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" I gasped, "Get me a pain killer, please!"

To my dismay, it was Aunt Esme who brought the pain killer and she looked at me suspiciously as she handed it over.

"Lieutenant Whitlock, what happened?" she asked softly, but throwing glances at me.

Lieutenant Whitlock smiled weakly and said, "'Twas nothing. I-I just hit my head, that's all."

"Are you sure it's got nothing to do with my niece, here? She's got adrenaline rush disorder of some sort."

I sighed and sarcastically broke the whole conversation up. Hello? Didn't anyone notice I was there the whole time?

"Thanks so much for the help, Aunt Esme."

"You're welcome, sweetie. This is Nurse Mary Alice, by the way. If she'll cause you more pain in the hospital than in the battlefield, just let me know, Lieutenant Whitlock."

"Please," he held up his hand and spoke calmly, "It's Jasper. And I think Nurse Mary Alice will take good care of me."

Aunt Esme smiled brightly and walked out of the ward.

I swooped down and apologized to "Jasper" once again.

"It's really no big deal. I've had worse injuries. Tell me, Mary Alice, how badly did I look when I first came in here?" he inquired.

"So bad that my friend Bella and I fainted at the sight of so much blood," I said and then hesitated for a little while before adding, "Perhaps Aunt Esme can-"

"No, it's all right. I think you get all self-conscious whenever your aunt is around. But I'm sure you'll be just as good as her, in time."

"I really doubt that," I laughed nervously and then stood up, "Anyway, it's 2 in the afternoon. I think it's time for your medicine."

He shook his head and made a funny face.

"Yuck! I used to run around the house and made my mother chase me around whenever I got sick when I was a kid. She had some vile medicine back then."

I laughed stupidly and then took tablets out and poured some water into the glass.

"Shouldn't you start running by now?" I teased.

"Maybe. If I weren't all butt naked."

I blushed and even turned my back pathetically.

"It's all right, Mary Alice. You know, in the army, we take a bath in public. I'd done it a lot of times myself. It didn't make any difference. I mean, in the end, you get all clean. Isn't that what bath times are all about?"

I took a deep breath and then turned back to face him.

He was happily chewing on some apple.

"Where did you get that?" I hissed.

"From the sleeping old man's table. Want some?" he offered his apple with clean teeth bites.

Was that even possible? Were his teeth that perfect?

"Give that back to him!"

"But I already ate half of it. Wouldn't it be rude?" Jasper blinked his topaz eyes innocently.

I had to blink a few times just to fight the swooning feeling inside of me.

"So now you're concerned about being rude? That's just wonderful and sweet of you, Lieutenant Whitlock."

He looked completely surprised when I forcedly took his hands but he finally got the message when he saw 4 colorful tablets on his palms.

"Come on! Are you turning me into a druggie?"

"Oh I wish, Jasper, I really do."

"You're real funny, Mary Alice," he said before taking all the capsules in with one gulp.

For the next few hours, Jasper chattered happily about nothing in particular. Sometimes he talked about the war, the latest ammunitions, and that his injury was a complete accident. But most of the time, he asked me about my life and everything else that went with it.

"So you live with your aunt?" he asked.

"Yes. And her husband, Dr. Cullen."

"He was a really nice guy. A good-looking one, too, I might add. So I guess that's how all the nurses' lives will end up, huh?"

"How's that?" I looked curious.

"Marry a handsome doctor and become the head nurse."

"Oh," I coughed, "that's only Esme. Lots of people say she's got the perfect life. And I'm her personal hell."

"No no," he disagreed, "I wouldn't mind a personal hell like you."

He spoke a lot more slowly and softly since I gave him his medicine. Now he completely dozed off into dreamland. I looked at him one last time and then left for the cafeteria.

"Alice!" Bella said as she ran to me.

She was klutzier than I was. But fortunately, he had my cousin Edward to keep her from scraping all the skin from her legs off.

"Careful, Bella," Edward murmured.

"I will. The next time," she laughed, "so how was that patient of yours? Lieutenant Liplock, right? What a funny name."

"It's Whitlock. Where in the world did you get that information?" I asked, annoyed.

It didn't sound like Bella at all. For a moment, it sounded like ...

"Never mind," I sighed, "Edward's obviously enjoying his private joke. Stupid intern."

Edward was still laughing heartily with one arm draped around Bella's shoulders.

"Perverted nurse!" he teased and continued laughing all the way to the hospital's cafeteria.

I was in the salad line when Aunt Esme stormed in with a furious look on her face. She walked right passed everybody and headed straight towards me. I turned all red.

"Mary Alice, DID YOU GIVE LIEUTENANT JASPER THE DREAMKEEPER 400?!"


	2. Pictures Visuals Links

I Wouldn't Mind A Personal Hell Like You

Author's Note: I just had to put this up. I know lots of Fanfiction authors are also doing this for their stories.

Links to Pictures/Visuals

Nurse Clothes - .com/photos/topcat_angel/2199977940/

(It's what I've envisioned to have been worn by the two Cullen nurses.)

Military Clothes - .com/ww2/images/Paris_on_furlough_Russell_Bob_Joe_27_

(And it's what I've envisioned for Lieutenant Liplock ... erm Whitlock.)

War Hospital - ./forum/files/old_hospital_

(This is a great picture for the hospital the medical-minded Cullens work in.)

War Hospital Bed - ./images/view?back=http%3A%2F%.%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Ffr2%3Dsg-gac%26sado%3D1%26p%3Dold%2520hospital%2520beds%26fr%3Dyfp-t-103%26ei%3Dutf-8%26x%3Dwrt&w=446&h=600&imgurl=..au%2Fgallery%2Ftheme%&rurl=http%3A%2F%..au%2Fgallery%2Frecords_relating_to_mental_asylums_&size=48.8kB&name=&p=old+hospital+beds&oid=601b7f26364d6eb6&no=11&tt=16&sigr=12herl7sa&sigi=11ge2h5e8&sigb=13i5t3apn

(The real page said it doesn't exist anymore. This is the closest we can get to that bed Lt. W 'accidentally' knocked his head.)

War Hospital Cafeteria - .

(These black and white photos are starting to really grow on me.)

Author's Note: These links are also available in my profile page: .com/~mackenzieleighhauntelle. But I figured some of you might be so lazy as to drop by there. :) For more pictures or visual requests, just PM me.


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